After spending time in the Caribbean visiting my wife's family, I returned home and found myself getting up to practice in the morning. I did that when I was away. It was great to greet the sun with sun salutations and to feel warm without the aid of a heater.
Since being home, I've been practicing everyday in the morning. Though it is difficult in the sense that the muscles aren't as warm as they should be-- in part because of the (mild) Vermont winter I suppose-- everything feels tight. But this week, at last, things seemed to loosen up a bit and I could go deeply into the same poses that I could do when I was practicing later in the day. The big problem is staying focused on the breath, the bandhas, and the posture.
Something happened just before I left for the Caribbean. I was, once again, getting really into the Yoga philosophy and the practice and was feeling really drawn to it. So much so that the strong desire to abandon everything and just follow this path was becoming a reality. In short, it conflicted with "my life" and it made me become really judgmental of myself and the profession I chose making it difficult to continue doing my work. I started getting a little stressed out for lack of a better word, because of the conflict that I saw between the two. Then I read the Bhagavad Gita and the words about service really resonated with me. I realized then that my service, my path, in this life is to do what I do. Once I realized that I became more drawn to practicing at home rather than in the studio and I suddenly feel entirely OK with the job I do. There is a purpose to it and it is my dharma, so I must follow it.
